Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Shoe fetish...

I'm really not the sophisticated creature I like to pretend to be. Underneath the sparkles and straps and red lipstick, I'm really just a simple little girl who wants the same things all the other little girls want. I tried on those shoes you gave me. The slick fancy ones that were so beautiful and shocking. I wore them even though I knew they didn't fit. I ignored them when they pinched, put on stockings when they chafed. When they gave me blisters, I just covered my red, raw flesh with bandaides and kept on strutting. But now I am hurting right down to the bone, and I can't keep it up. The funny thing is, now that I've walked so far in your shoes I find that none of my old shoes fit any more.

Monday, September 12, 2005

House Hunting...

I've been checking out rooms for rent in San Francisco, and it's like I'm Golidlocks or something. "Those girls are too square, that guy was creepy... Ah, this one's just right!" I had three appointments yesterday from 1:30pm to 7pm. The first two were not very encouraging, so by the time 7pm rolled around, I was tired and not feeling too optomistic.

Then I walked in and met everyone. The people are totally cool. It's a household of six, gender balanced and all really good friends. I have the feeling that I'm totally going to love one of the other girls. She is so cute! And the guys are really fun and love razzing each other. It would be so wonderful to live with a bunch of cool people who actually like living with each other! Nobody seems too uptight about other people's habits, and they have separate boys and girls bathrooms, which is such a great idea.

It's basically a jump right in and do your thing kind of atmosphere, which is awesome. It's a crazy huge warehouse space that is in utter chaos. They tell me that they're going to clean it up soon because they're planning to hold an art show, but I'm kinda skeptical. And I'm fine with it either way. I love the fluidity of the main room, they invite you to participate and do what you want with the space. They had just ripped up one of the bathrooms and were in the process of painting it fire-engine red. They have a serial killer themed guest room, of all things, and their household hobby is sitting around the huge table playing Scrabble and drinking beer. The bedrooms are huge! Well, I am hoping to be moving into what looked like the smallest one, but even that one is much bigger than the other rooms I've been looking at. Definitely room for my sewing area as well as comfortable living space. They don't mind if I bring my birds. Oh, it is just so perfect!

This is the environment I want to live in. It is a perfect vehicle for creative manifestation and experimentation. I love it! It's crazy and fun and almost too good to be true. On the way home, I found myself thinking, "I wonder if they'd mind if I put in a trapeeze?" I really hope they pick me. Cross your fingers for me, would you??? I'm so nervous and excited, I can't wait to hear back from them!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Of beginnings and endings...

My horoscope for this week is eerily apt, as it so often is with this guy...

LIBRA: "If the Angel decides to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner." So said the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, as if speaking to your exact needs right now. Let me offer this addendum: The Angel wants to come very badly. She is passionate about offering you the novel assistance she has dreamed up just for you.'

Is it possible to have beginnings without endings at the same time? Maybe it's all just a matter of focus. Things are always changing, shifting, transitioning. Sometimes the times when I post the least frequently are the times when the most is going on. I suppose it's because I'm incubating, getting ready for these new beginnings, these changes. I am ready for another leap, another jumping off into adventure.

PS: I am dying for a pair of shoes like these. I have such delightfully delicious plans for them...