Stirrings...

Something is stirring under the surface. I sat in the park yesterday as the wind gusted over the hilltop, chilling me despite the sunshine, wondering what this feeling of anticipation means. Something is tap, tap, tapping at the back of my mind, and it's not just the spring time bursting, because the last time I felt like this was in the fall a few years back. But then, it didn't feel quite like this, either. Some thought, some knowledge, some Thing is standing right there in that spot between the back of my mind and the doorway to the soul, just there at the corner of my eye. I beckon to it, but it doesn't respond, just taps its foot and waits. Fine then, I can be patient, too.

Ah, changes. I can feel a new phase coming along. I am a Fire Snake, according to the Chinese Zodiac, and I have lived my life with a marked tendency toward shedding one life and starting over with a fresh, new skin, but I don't want to do that any more. Surely there is a gentler way to transition from one life phase to another. Maybe I need a new symbology. My brain is filled with contradictions and double standards that I don't know how to resolve. I'm no longer sure that a clean resolution is possible. But who said life would be neat and clean, I ask?