Touch of the Green Man...

The sun has been shining, and I am starting to move out of the mental fog of apathy and exhaustion I've been living in for the last few weeks. It has been a rough time, the kind that I only write about in my private journal, the kind with pages and two covers and no anonymous internet audience traipsing through my private thoughts. Now is one of those Green Man moments, when the tree that has been blasted by lightning and looked dead to the world suddenly puts out unexpected green shoots, tender and delicate, to soak up the gentle sunlight.

It has always been my tendency to bite off more than I can chew, as the saying goes. This has been my general way of living, running to catch up with myself, getting more done than I ever expected to, but never quite as much as I had hoped. I'm not going to race around this way for a while. I mean, I have to get through this month and the craziness that I have committed to, but afterwards... I need a rest. I need to find a new vantage point. I need to reprioritize, reorganize, regroup, recover.

According to Chinese astrology, I am a Fire Snake. According to my own habits, I relate to the phoenix. Beginnings and endings are my breakfast, lunch and dinner. So at this new beginning, who do I want to be now?